Today is Betty’s memorial at the cabin.
I am there spirit, but not in body. Our son is standing in for our family, but even more representing himself.
A few people offered to say words for us if we provided them, but I could not conjure the words that would sound right. I write, but I am not a writer, other than technical/business writing. So here are a few thoughts.
Betty is a Finlayson, but also a Nassoiy. I love my extended family. I was always amazed at how the extended family got along. That does not mean they always agreed, but they got along. Of the four Finlayson siblings, Betty was always the most mysterious to me growing up. This was mostly because she was also the one I saw the least, and they lived a life I was not familiar with. Air force, moving alot. Being in the 1964 Alaska Earthquake was huge. It made it feel closer. The stories the family told were always full of adventure and fun. One I partially remember was them throwing pebbles against windows to wake people up when they had arrived in the middle of the night (before cell phones). I know the arrival in A2 of my Mother’s “crazy sister” was always eagerly awaited, peering out of my upstairs bedroom watching for their car, probably a VW Squareback. And the alter ego stuffed friends. Doormouse, Bears, Frog and the rest. Speaking in other’s tongues is a time honored tradition, especially with all of the young ones. She liked to make fun of almost anything, while making the participants feel like they were in on the joke, never the butt of the joke, and being in on it was great. The kids, Mike/Grinch/Ed and Aimee, were a bit older and out of my league. But Betty and Duke were almost always fun. Going out with them meant something cool was going to happen. As I got older I was always impressed by the ability to go, go, go. I remember vividly being in college and going up north for a winter weekend. We went out cross-country skiing along the old road and some other local trails. Betty was breaking trail, and I was struggling to keep up. And she had to be over 50! (Gasp – reality check – could I out ski or out anything my kids today??? Endurance walking possibly.) Jumping forward many years, things have gotten into a pattern for our family. We managed to get back to the cabin and family about every other year. I always hoped my kids would get to know the extended family that I loved, but it was not really possible to do it right from 2 weeks out of every 104. Thankfully my son decided to spend a whole summer at the beach 2 years ago. And he got to know Betty. I still remember when my mother, father and I were getting ready to head south in mid-May, leaving Rey in the old cabin to fend for himself. Betty said, “You’re leaving him here alone?” It felt like she adopted him at that moment, at least for the summer. My impression was that he learned a lot about the birds and the bees and the plants from Betty and her friends – the Sault Naturalists, spent much time with the octo-women and others in their routines of Penny’s Kitchen, the Cozy Inn and other get-togethers, introduced Betty to Coen brother’s movies and professional baseball. I am forever grateful for this time she took to spend with Rey – it made me feel like he got a bit more what family can be – sharing themselves.
So here are my words.
Crazy Sister, rocks (pebbles to big flats), square backs, story teller, defender of her children, tireless, open-minded, wild land enthusiast, passionate, larger than life, loving person.
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